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18 May 2012 @ 05:03 pm
Fic: Sweaty Palms and Butterflies  
Title: Sweaty Palms and Butterflies
Author: bearshorty
Rating: G
Warnings: none
Word Count: 1,522
Summary: The first time Remus’s heart sped up and butterflies appeared when looking at Sirius.
Author's Notes: Thank you to Bear for the last minute beta.



The steam obscured the gleaming red train and the platform was full of anxious parents and excited children. The energy was frantic because the train was going to depart soon. Remus was very glad he didn’t miss it because of his Dad’s last minute errand. He loved the cakes his parents bought for him for the train ride, along with all the food his Mum made, but he was eager to get to King’s Cross that morning.

It had been a long summer. Sirius, James and Peter all wrote occasional letters but it was not the same. Remus was really looking forward to going back to school and being with his friends.

And this year would be even better since they discovered that he was a werewolf four months earlier at the end of their second year. Which they thought was brilliant, especially Sirius. Now he didn’t have to hide it and he could breathe easier and not keep a secret anymore. Remus smiled to himself as his Dad was fussing with his jacket and giving him last minute warnings about being careful.

“Dad, I know. Dumbledore and Madam Pomfrey know what they are doing. This worked for two years. I’ll be fine.” Remus squirmed out of his Dad’s reach. At thirteen, he was too old now to be fussed over by his Dad, especially on the crowded platform where everyone could see.

“I know, son. You know I worry.” His Dad padded his jacket one more time and added, “Have a good time at school, be careful, and write to me and Mum at least once a week. And especially after..."

"I know, Dad. Mum made me promise.”

“Hey, Remus!” He heard a familiar voice and turned around, grinning broadly to see a small, sandy-haired boy coming nearer with his parents.

“Peter! All right?”

“Yeah. Can you believe the summer is over already?”

“I’m kind of glad it is.”

“Well, you actually like school.”

Remus nodded, unashamed and turned back around to hug his Dad quickly. “Bye, Dad. I’ll write you tonight. Say goodbye to Mum from me again.”

“See you at Christmas, Remus.” His Dad was getting a little teary eyed, so Remus rushed Peter to the train as soon as he could after Peter said a quick goodbye to his parents.

They found an empty compartment and stored their bags and food containers. Peter’s Mum also always loaded him up with pies and sweets. The four of them usually shared and had a giant train picnic. At least they did last year when all four of them rode to Hogwarts together for the first time.

The train pulled out of the station. And about ten minutes later, just as Peter broke out the first game of Exploding Snap, the door to the compartment burst open and Sirius and James stumbled in. They were trailed by smoke.

“Hello, fellow Gryffindors,” said James a little too exuberantly, which told Remus that the two of them were already starting on pranks and one of them had probably backfired.

“Heya!” said Peter, moving closer to the window to give room for Sirius to fling himself down on the bench next to him.

“What did you do?” asked Remus, raising his eyebrow.

Sirius smirked. “Let’s just say I learned a nice new hex from the Black family library and got to try it out on Snivellus. Good times.”

“Yeah,” said James, sitting down next to Remus. “Unfortunately, he was sitting with Evans as usual and she fired a spell back. My ears are still steaming.” He smiled broadly. “It was brilliant. She is brilliant.”

“Oh, give it up,” sighed Sirius. The two then began a familiar argument that kept breaking out since the previous school year when James came into the dormitory one cold day in February and announced that Lily Evans was the most beautiful and intelligent witch and he was going to marry her someday. Sirius thought it was bonkers. And Remus knew that Lily thought it was bonkers too.

But this argument between James and Sirius was so ‘them’ that Remus found himself leaning back in the seat, feeling happy. He really missed his friends. As much as he loved his parents, summer just reminded him how much he loved having his friends around. He never really had friends before.

Sirius was lounging in his seat, gesticulating broadly to argue that Lily would never be able to appreciate James’ fun streak. He moved one of his legs to the opposite seat, right between James and Remus and Remus realized that Sirius was a lot taller than he was just a few months ago when they took the train back home. His leg was certainly longer and skinnier.

Remus’ felt his palms get a little sweaty for some reason at the thought. Sirius let out his barking laugh at James’ description of how Lily would help with the hexes, and Remus automatically looked up at Sirius’ face.

Sirius did not just get taller but his face also looked leaner and a little older too. His cheekbones seemed more defined and made his face even more striking. And his eyelashes were moving slowly up and down in an intriguing pattern.

Remus tried wiping his hands, which got even sweatier on his trousers, while he also felt his heart speed up and this throat go a little dry. Sirius’ eyes were just so grey and Remus couldn’t look away from them. He couldn’t understand why his stomach felt full of butterflies roaming around. He just wanted to sit here and stare at Sirius because his face was one of most interesting faces that Remus thought he’d seen.

Remus frowned. He never found Sirius’s face or his height that fascinating before. He had probably just been away from everyone for too long.

Sirius’s leg bumped into his thigh as Sirius moved to make another dramatic point to James, and Remus was startled out of his thoughts.

“You are going to like someone else soon, James. She is not that special, especially since she hates you. You should just forget about her,” Sirius said.

James crossed his arms and sat up taller. He said, “She is not just like any other girl. When I see her, my heart just starts racing. Really loudly. And I can’t speak to her properly. My Mum said that’s how you know you met someone special. So I’ve been practicing all kinds of phrases to say to her. I mean, I didn’t have time to do it earlier since she hexed me, but the next time I see her I’m going to tell her that she should go to Hogsmeade with me.”

“I can’t wait to go to Hogsmeade.” Peter chimed in. “I got the permission form and everything. Just think of the candy.”

“And the joke shop!” said Sirius, turning his head very smoothly and with such grace. As that thought entered his mind, with his heart still going impossibly fast, Remus’ eyes widened and he emitted what was possibly a squeak.

Remus’s eyes met Sirius’. They were so grey. “Are you alright, mate?” asked Sirius. “Your parents did sign your Hogsmeade form, right? I know they could be protective.”

“They did.” Remus felt his voice came out a little too high and he could see the puzzled faces of his friends. He stood up fast. “Loo,” he managed to say, and he rushed out of the compartment avoiding everyone’s eyes. He could feel Sirius’ eyes at his back and his neck felt a little hot. He walked fast to the loo, closed the door and leaned on it.

This could not be happening. His heart was still racing. Did this mean that he liked Sirius like that? Like James liked Lily? But Sirius was a boy. And he was one of his best friends, the one who just told him one morning that they figured out he was a werewolf and how awesome that was. Before Remus could even panic, Sirius was just sitting on the bottom of his bed, asking for details and not being scared of him in the slightest.

He probably was just reacting this way because he hadn’t seen everyone in so long and they all got a little older. He ignored the stray thought that neither Peter nor James looked that interesting while both of them got a little taller too.

Remus took a deep breath. It didn’t have to be a big deal if he did like Sirius that way. He probably didn’t. And it would probably pass anyway. It was probably a fluke. He would go back to the compartment, play Exploding Snap, have all that food and talk about his boring summer. He just had to make sure that they wouldn’t notice anything weird. He could do this. He hid a secret before. And this wasn’t really anything.

Remus opened the small train sink and splashed some water on his face and on his neck, which still felt a little hot. He took another deep breath, steeled himself and went back, ignoring the thought of how Sirius eyes were really perfect.
 
 
 
cherrybomb213cherrybomb213 on May 18th, 2012 09:21 pm (UTC)
This was so cute I almost made embarrassing squeaky noises of joy! I, having had an extremely humiliating crush on a friend of mine back when I was 12 and this reminded me SO MUCH of how I felt back then. So thanks for that bit of nostalgia, except it's way cuter when it's Remus and Sirius than when it's butch 6th grade me wearing boy's pants and only one earring. :P I really loved your characterization of Remus...he didn't feel too young or too old. And the overall atmosphere was very nice and end-of-summer-y. Awesome job !!!! <3
Jamiemypretty_art on May 18th, 2012 10:32 pm (UTC)
Awwww, poor Remus!! I bet Sirius is feeling the same exact way, but is just better at covering it up.

Awwwww, this was lovely.
protegonoxprotegonox on May 19th, 2012 01:57 am (UTC)
Adorable! That first moment when you realize you're in love is terrifying and electrifying, isn't it? I love that you chose to write this particular first. I always imagine them as being older when they first fall in love, but this was really cute. Remus's reactions here speak of his maturity for his age (especially if we compare with the other Marauders...!).
shutupeccles: S-x-R Maraudersshutupeccles on May 19th, 2012 03:08 am (UTC)
gently sweet
very Remus
pavlablackpavlablack on May 20th, 2012 02:16 am (UTC)
What a sweet story; you've captured their ages and friendships so well. I love the concern Remus's parents have for him, and the way Remus is appreciative but at the same time feeling a little smothered and also glad to be back with his friends. For some reason the familiar argument that Sirius and James have over Lily rang especially true—it is those kinds of little experiences and stories that inform our relationships with others, so I really liked that. And it's really cool how Remus is kind of analytical about his newfound attention to Sirius:

Sirius did not just get taller but his face also looked leaner and a little older too. His cheekbones seemed more defined and made his face even more striking. And his eyelashes were moving slowly up and down in an intriguing pattern.

Remus tried wiping his hands, which got even sweatier on his trousers, while he also felt his heart speed up and this throat go a little dry. Sirius’ eyes were just so grey and Remus couldn’t look away from them. He couldn’t understand why his stomach felt full of butterflies roaming around. He just wanted to sit here and stare at Sirius because his face was one of most interesting faces that Remus thought he’d seen.


And the way Remus puts it all together, because of James defining his feelings for Lily and Remus seeing a correlation, is spot-on. I like this very much as a self-contained fic, but you've intrigued me enough that I would be very interested in seeing how this all plays out if you decided to continue it. Either way, I'm glad you wrote and shared this wonderful story.
livinglibrarieslivinglibraries on May 22nd, 2012 06:38 pm (UTC)
Aw how cute is Remus! I love the little things that Remus picks up on, Sirius' leg's getting longer and his eyes.

Silly boy ignoring his feelings at the end :D